Someone once told me “Matt, you have a unique way of looking at the world and putting into percective how you see fit.” I thought this was a huge compliment! I mean who wants to go around thinking like everyone else, and conforming? How boring! Well here are some of my thoughts about life and the pursuit of happiness, thanks and pass the potatoes. Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to “put your two cents in”… but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to? Taxes? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway. Why do people call a water heater a hot water heater? Doesn’t it heat cold water? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat? If Wile E.Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn’t he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Until next time….